Kale

Overall, this is a pretty interesting excerpt, and it definitely piqued my interest in your story. If you ever translate and post it, please let me know as I would ...

I'll stay quite, I believe you meant to use "quiet" here? With that said, this really didn't feel poetic. It was more like ranting broken up into lines to look ...

Hello Chuck. Before I start reviewing this proper, I'd just like make a note that, when you co-write something, it's always a good idea to get permission from your co-writer ...

Since this poor chapter has been stuck sitting in the back of the Works with 0 Reviews queue for so long, here I am to free it from such a ...

Hello MUCHO. Since you posted this, YWS has resurrected the old reviews forum , and I think this piece would be a perfect fit there. A lot more people will ...

Hello there, tronks. Like Tenyo, I haven't read any of your earlier chapters, so if I point out something that was addressed earlier in the story, feel free to disregard ...

So... I've had this piece open for days intending to review it (for days), but I just haven't been able to find the energy to really review it. But since ...

I really wanted to like this poem. I really, really wanted to like it, especially since I adore silly poems and this is such a silly poem, but that last ...

and climb up the branches with a grace that was so smooth and easy, whenever someone watched her clamber up Quibble, but "clamber" is hardly a graceful term for climbing. ...

This chapter, to put it bluntly, was boring. It was a giant mass of told information, and not even told in an interesting manner. Taking the first paragraph as an ...

Oooh! A sonnet! I haven't seen a sonnet in a long while. With that said, right now, the lines are all spaced out, so you might want to consider editing ...

Hello Nessie, and welcome to YWS. First things first, right now, most of your text is lumped together into one massive paragraph, which makes it very reader-unfriendly to read. I ...

Where could I go and what could I do? I remain still. Unmoving. Choosing not be seen. So that I may watch them that pass me from my view. I ...

The one thing that really gets me about this poem is how disjointed it is. There's very little, if any, connection between the ideas, and while the ideas near the ...

The that caught my attention, and not in a good way, was the whole "we" section. It just doesn't feel very well-handled, and perhaps it's because I'm not part of ...