Kafkaescence

Back. Sorry for not getting to this sooner. Comments in bold, etc. The morning was initially a haze. His head felt as heavy as if filled with lead "...felt heavy, ...

Same deal. Chapter 2 - An Angel’s Demise Despite one life continuing that day Who? And is it worth mentioning that they continued to live? , another was to end. ...

A thread of hip unravels into sand, beaches broken over the backs of mountains where the ocean ground into rock and bore down with cruel words. I don't like "hip" ...

Comments are in bold. Bits I liked are underlined. Chapter 1 - Mosaic Why is the chapter called this? Judge Risedo stood silently in the calmest spot he thought possible ...

It's a drawing piece, for a number of reasons. There's the contemporary relevance of the question it suggests, and there's the vividity with which you conceptualize your exploration. On the ...

It's been too long. from the upper reaches of something we call science, Prosey opening. In poetry one should endeavor to become the pure observer; your use of "we" doesn't ...

There was no sun, no moon, no stars. No light fell onto our grand country. I watched as the towers, the homes, the forests all fall unto the flames of ...

It's an interesting piece. What irony—the palm tree, a symbol of fertility and promiscuity, is used to hold the backwash of failed births. Beautiful symbolism. Just that idea in itself, ...

And yet one question persists all the way into the last line: how did he know the doctor was there? Actually, that wasn't my only question. This piece is so ...

Classic growing up story, laden with tragedy, and crises of self-discovery. Overall, well-written. You have several central themes you explore throughout this story, listed below. 1. Family 2. Beauty

Is it bad if I understood none of this? I didn't. I get the impression that this was intended to be some raw allegorical insight, but raw allegory rarely comes ...

Your prose in this piece bordered on aggravating. Let's review. You dedicate the first paragraph to listing David's somewhat dull idiosyncrosies, such as his love of strawberries. Relevance to story: ...

That's pretty bizarre. I felt like you were masking its utter allegorical emptiness with hollow melodrama - appealing but disjointed imagery, muddled and muddling word choice, aimless suspense and wha

I read it. Leaves the reader with quite a bit of questions, doesn't it? Like, who is everyone? Like, everyone? What are their motives? I was completely mystified by the ...

It might be because I've been reading too much Vonnegut - in fact, it probably is - but the narrator's perspective on the concept of war seems terribly stereotypical. He ...