Kafkaescence

Oooo...very creepy.... This is a great poem. The rhyming puts a nice, kind of informal touch to it that you don't see too much of hear. It is creative, funny, ...

Wow. Okay. Lots of red marks here, but don't get demotivated. The idea was very nice, if not pleasant, and I'm guessing this "Eric" will have a role to play ...

Okay. I'll start off saying that this story has potential, and I like imagining the possibilities for future chapters. Keep writing, you've got me hooked. That said, I have some ...

Okay. Hopefully you'll forgive me if I'm too critical. Like foot prints in the snow, making are print in the endless abyss, Try instead "Marking our trail in the...." we ...

I'll cut straight to the chase. The first stanza is good. I have one suggestion for the second: That you held me in your arms And told me you loved ...

Personally, I would stick with the long hair, but, me being a boy, I wouldn't know too much about this subject. Other than this, the writing is great. I only ...

Very emotional poem. I think you really should take the time to go through it; it has potential. The first thing you want to do is establish the flow of ...

Great work. Here are some quibbles: Raging black demons, pure white innocence, together we make a balance they can't comprehend. This stanza I would recommend reworking. "Raging" and "demon" are ...

This a very nice, if short, poem. You set the tone, carry through, and finish with a grand final line: Someone, rescue me from myself Love it. The only line ...

It is interesting what should and should not be considered poetry. I think this piece falls right onto that dividing line. Arranged in a slightly more poetic fashion (stanzas, lines, ...

Prologue I stood in front of Dan’s desk as he read my file. The black leather of my jacket creaked and nervousness crept in Nice. as I wondered whether or ...

Cautiously, Grant approached the box and peered inside to see that wrapped up in a semi-clean blanket was a little pink face The last part of this sentence is a ...

You'll never know how much I really loathe you. I'm a plexiglass window to another side of the world. This is beautiful. You look at me for a while, Make ...

Very nice. Some lines are a bit confusing, but I suggest not changing them. They add a sense of mystery and sophistry to the poem, though that might not be ...

This is a nice start. I especially love the reflection: it adds a sense of background in a way that is very powerful in the opening chapters. That said, may ...