KJ

I didn't have any problems with the showing-rather-than-telling thing. Some pieces are like that, and who wants theirs to be the same as everyone else's? The only thing that did ...

and the rest is time in the morn This line doesn't feel right. You meant "morn" as in "morning", right? he queen raises her hand The queen raises her hand. ...

Very... full of humor. Was this supposed to be a story? Because, no offense, I felt like it was just something randomly thrown together with no thought process at all. ...

I think that you should have left it at Part 1. That ended the story in a way that felt better to me. This addition just kind of ruined the ...

“I love you…keep some sleep.” You meant "get some sleep", right? And Fledgling was right. This is too mature, and advanced a vocabulary, for a five-year-old. Maybe you should try ...

My word to describe this piece was interesting. Maybe it's just me, but I thought it got kind of boring throughout. But then again I'm not a big dinosaur person, ...

After the “little” incident up to my Nan Carter’s house I didn’t ho home Typo in there. I assume you meant "ho" as "go". It was good writing. It was ...

I don't think you should get rid of the Heaven and Hell concept. That was one of the things that I liked most about it. Good writing. But it threw ...

I think this belongs in the Romantic Fiction. To be honest, it bothered me. You write well, I thought it was unrealistic and too dramatic. I would have bought it ...

A good addition. I'm wondering what this has to do with the first prologue, but I guess I'll just have to keep reading to find out. Few mistakes here and ...

This piece of work is amazing. It has been put on my favorite's list--and so far there's only one other piece on it. Only problem was the few punctuation and ...

I liked it. It has a ton of potential. There were quite a few grammar mistakes, but you can probbaly catch those just by going back. You made the characters ...

My brother's name is Kolbe This line kind of bothered me--I don't exactly know why... I think it just doesn't make the main character real. I feel like he's an ...

Spaces between the paragraphs would be great. I liked the suspense-build. I also liked the red dress, the beacon in the darkness sort of thing. It's a good idea. But ...

I didn't really understand anything of what was happening. I like a story where it just dives in... but I have to be able to grasp where I am and ...