KAVOR17

I rrrrrreeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaalllllllllyyyyyyy like this story the only thing i think you should edit is that you check your grammar and describe "The big green ship" in greater detail.

Sorry Jake i have to say that i didn't like the style you wrote in. I thought the idea was great though. There were also alot of puncutation errors. But ...

I think really said about all of it. I really enjoyed this piece and would like to see more of it. It was hard to understand but that might be ...

thx for your insight an suggestions.

Good idea i like it but the part where goes into the house and then the basement then back up into the house? whats that about? try to explain that ...

Over all i think you did good but add more descriptions to this and its kind of confusing how you ask the reader so many questions. Try make his kill ...

Really finish your writing good idea just express it better

hey my story i edited again so i'd liked to hear your thoughts on it... its the "The World of Dreamers" one

As the owl outside rustled its feathers to rid them of snow, the boy inside the large, quiet house shook violently in his bed. Even though it was a frozen ...

nvm