Justagirl

The light shines on your face - An angel (deleted a comma from here) - And I'm struck with desire, Skin against skin, cheek against cheek, as the sea hums ...

I never wanted to die- but I no longer wanted to live. My mind fell asleep to a dream, but reality forced me to leave. These don't rhyme...? I was ...

Anyway , I was so happy to receive your letter and I know that if I start telling you everything, you might get upset but I’m still going to answer ...

This was great! I already read the first part of it and it was also awesome :) And this part was just as good. I don't really find any problems ...

Her strong English accent had a slight American tint to it. Thank y ou. In New York or are you actually going to venture outside the c ity? “We’re going ...

Wow. This is so interesting. I found no errors in it but my only problem is... Well there are a couple. 1. This story is just so weird, it just ...

As they make you drift away . And the laughter, still stings here And I slowly walk away. All words in purple should only have been used once. That you ...

Wow. Awesome. This is so awesome. I really loved this but some of the line's word structures don't make total sense... Mama digs her thumb pass the skin, and while ...

to please you ; Once again , than any cut You use the word 'cut' too much (you used it in the second line above this one). See if you ...

Rhyming words, and clever metaphors Painting pictures is easy : Blending colours, and small details (I took out a period here...) done with a swift hand . Running (I took ...

Wow. This is really totally cool... I love how the dude is so morbid yet you had to thread in the bits about lemonade and the pink umbrella. It's really ...

We waited in somber silence, our bodies stiff and motionless, and our lips dry of saliva. It was when first light appeared that we dragged our limp, aching bodies from ...

Aaaaw, this is such a sweet poem! One nitpick... But the present I like most, Also, I think you could replace a couple of commas with periods or just take ...

Prowling the meadows and ancient twilit trees. Dancing shadows under infinite star strewn skies. Chasing red - maned playful prey with glee. Leaping through a sea of light speckled eyes. ...

A blaze of lightning crackled through the air close by and she could feel air tighten with tension. You use air twice in one sentence! She could feel wet sticky ...