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JoyceSparrows

  • Short Story » Fantasy, General Re: 256 Pages of Milo

    Hello Scout007, I enjoyed your story very much. I think that you will find that some people will criticize it for being "too wordy", but I quite liked it that ...

    Dec 28, 2012
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: It's Our Day, Again.

    Hello, Monsterevo I want to start off by saying that this is a very nice piece you have written. I really liked how you described each place. I thought that ...

    Nov 2, 2012
  • Short Story » Historical Fiction, Dramatic Re: A Song Of Twisted Rapture

    I have never reviewed any of your pieces so this is going to be interesting. I noticed that you wanted to include some old English (it’s not really called old ...

    Jun 16, 2012
  • Poetry » Romantic, Dramatic Re: Enchanted

    Hello. This is a nice poem you have written. I am not going to go into anything regarding theme today, but I do have some general critiques to make. First ...

    Apr 2, 2012
  • Novel / Chapter » General, General Re: The pretense of a happy family

    Welcome YWS! I hope you will enjoy it here. Just one question before I begin. Is this supposed to be a novel or just a short story? I was posted ...

    Jul 15, 2011
  • Poetry » Dramatic, General Re: What I Think

    Hello! I think this is pretty good for your first time at writing dramatic poetry. You did a good job with expressing the feeling that a boy might have, although ...

    Jul 13, 2011
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: Blue Sky

    That was absolutely incredible. Normally I don’t like reviewing a story unless I have some critics to give, but I really couldn’t help it. Honestly, I don’t understand how you ...

    Jun 10, 2011
  • Short Story » General, General Re: My Aborted Child

    I enjoyed this story. I have always been against abortions myself and I thought that this was good. the night he rapped me Rapped: He rapped on the door. Raped: ...

    Apr 4, 2011
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Can I Forgive You?

    Hello! I have got to say that this is the longest short story I have ever read. Generally, people don’t like reviewing something this long. I can give you some ...

    Mar 31, 2011
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: A Broken Heart to Fix

    I liked this. Sure it was short, but honestly, I don't think anything needs to be added to it. Lots of us have been in similar situations, and we know ...

    Mar 29, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: Without You - Chapter 2

    For a while I thought you might have given up. I’m glad you didn’t! All the mistakes have seemingly been caught, so I don’t really have much to say except ...

    Mar 28, 2011
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Roads

    Hey! I liked the idea you have going, but it’s just not a story. You need to think about adding to it, because right now it’s just a thought. It ...

    Mar 27, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » Historical Fiction, General Re: Ch 7: The Misery And Suffering Of A Rose

    I really enjoyed this chapter. I liked the way the character of Rose was developed more. I was too involved in the reading to look for any nitpicks. To answer ...

    Mar 27, 2011
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Abby

    That was a cute story. I really liked the voice you gave to the dog. The only problem I have is with this sentence: the lady's foot hit ground,the ground ...

    Mar 27, 2011
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: 'Til Death Do Us Part - Chapter 2

    Hello I read the first chapter of the novel; you may have noticed my comment on it. The things I said about it still apply to this chapter. Like I ...

    Mar 13, 2011


As ideas are always better than their execution, so too must dough taste better than cookies.
— Horisun