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JonQuill

JonQuill

  • Poetry » Realistic, Narrative Re: The Escape

    Hey! So, yes I did like this, it's a nice and pleasant read :) I just noticed that a couple of lines didn't make too much sense to me. The ...

    Jun 29, 2013
  • Novel / Chapter » Mystery / Suspense, Supernatural Re: FEAR [new chapter 1]

    Hey, here I am, doing you a review ;) The first thing I noticed is that you don't have any paragraphing here. You don't even start a new paragraph when ...

    May 28, 2013
  • Poetry » Dramatic, Narrative Re: Slut

    Hello there! This was a beautifully constructed poem that shines light on a somewhat controversial topic in a bitter sweet way. Your word choices beautifully contrast each other between the ...

    May 26, 2013
  • Poetry » Narrative, General Re: On Writing Free-verse (Or simply not rhyming)

    This was fantastic. I honestly had music playing in my head as I started reading it, maybe because this poem is so rhythmic and vivid. You controlled these aspects very ...

    May 26, 2013
  • Poetry » Dramatic, Horror Re: Ouroboros Obscura

    Oh man, I really liked this. Such vivid imagery was inspired by your words, some images were really confronting, and even somewhat disturbing and I like that in literature. I ...

    May 26, 2013
  • Short Story » General, Realistic Re: Fear Is What The Mind Makes It

    Hi there! You have a very fluid writing style, but this one sentence is still a little choppy;""and even went through spiritual enlightenment," something about it just makes it too ...

    May 26, 2013
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, Action / Adventure Re: The Lady's first Fall

    Hey, alright so, I'm going to be honest here. I think you are a good writer, and as you said, this is just something you wrote quickly, maybe for the ...

    May 26, 2013
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, Action / Adventure Re: Chapter 4 - Angels

    Hey there. Okay, so I'm going to say that I liked the dialogue between Cerena and Ania, you can definitely relate their conflict to real life. I noticed a lot ...

    May 26, 2013
  • Short Story » General, General Re: The Pancake House

    Hello there! So, I have a few things to say here. First of all, I like the message; those who live the complicated and glamorous lives some of us dream ...

    May 22, 2013
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: Timeless game

    Hey there! Reading this poem, it is pretty clear this is a style you are just starting to work with. I personally think it's a good style, it has potential, ...

    May 22, 2013
  • Short Story » Action / Adventure, Science Fiction Re: The Heart Button

    Oh man, oh man oh man, I liked this :) I love steampunk, and this is just so imaginative and entertaining! I like how the start of your story is ...

    May 22, 2013
  • Short Story » Action / Adventure, Mystery / Suspense Re: Poison of the mind: Part 2

    I like your style! I really only have a few small things I can point out, but honestly, if you copy and paste your story into a word document you'll ...

    May 20, 2013
  • Novel / Chapter » Supernatural, Action / Adventure Re: Ink ~ Chapter One

    I like the ominous atmosphere this story creates, right from the first sentence. I actually thought this had a good fluidity to it, and your action sequences are easy to ...

    May 18, 2013


This looks like a really bad episode of Green Acres.
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