Jiggity

I want a Horror Forum as well, twould be cool. I dont know what the Dark Elite is...not sure if I like the name either. Critique pending.

Double spaces between paragraphs and dialogue. Please. I cant stand even looking at--let alone reading--a piece that is not set out properly. Fix it up and I promise to critique ...

You see, its quite obvious that its a female book, a female classic, but did my idiot teacher care about that? NO! Who in their right mind, apart from those ...

I disagree with Gannon about the early introduction of Zeke, I found nothing wrong with that. It was very well written, I loved it. Well done.

^ Revised ^

oooooh, this is much better then mine. I didnt put nearly as much effort. Took me about half an hour. But, well done. Brava!

As previously mentioned, this is my first novel/attempted book but yeah Im glad you guys are enjoying it. I didnt expect that.

It's not really a prologue--ora good one at least. It adds nothing to the story and is therefore unnnecessary.

Coolies, thanks for the comment. More will be written when I get my new computer about a week fro now.

No, lol. I was just tired I guess. I'll see what I can do about the specifics that you want, when I have more time. And its not action, in ...

This is my first major work, so I dont really expect it to be good. I do want to write my first novel though, just to get it out of ...

Comments and suggestions noted. Thanks guys, I need these comments. I'm not going to revise the above right away. I dont want to slow myself down, rather I will continue ...

Lol, thanks a lot guys...or gals in this instance. Cheers.

Master Pig!!! heheheheeheheheehehe, lmao. Oh god that was good.

When I have more time I'll come back and give this a good serious going over.