Jiggity

and my jaw is working, working. This repetition, much like your insistence on forcingwords together, should be reworked I believe. It can work, repetition that is, but in this case ...

First off, I normally would have rejected your request to review this as it didn't meet my guidelines. Those being that a) it should be read through and not riddled ...

Hey Icaruss, just quickly, thought I'd leave a comment before I head to the airport. This was short, nicely written, but ultimately pointless. Felt that way anyhow. Like a character ...

and they could not hear each other[s]s voice[/s] at all. Didn't like this sentence. 'and they couldn't hear each other, at all.' I’m being taught how to shoot a gun ...

Hey, Jacko! I'm in agreement with kwitch here as regards the sentence structure. The opener should definitely be revised. Snail was the nickname Felix had attributed to the boy, who ...

Hello, and welcome to YWS. Since your new, I'll just mention that incase you haven't heard, you should review two stories or poems now, having posted one of your own. ...

They first appeared to me when I was eight or nine. Shouldn't 'they' be 'he'? Its a plural but the subject following is singular? I was so engrossed in watching ...

Hey, there. Louis spreads himself across Bo's back, lying with his dry, open mouth against the base of her neck, inhaling the stale smell of her skin, [s]the way the ...

Hola! The prospect of an audience didn’t daunt Creep; but just who that audience might be did I might be wrong but I think there should a comma after 'be' ...

Hey, Sumi. Don't think I've ever come across something of yours. One in every 23.9 million people has the werewolf gene not sure about this, but shouldn't that be 'have'? ...

[s]The day brings sun when it once was dreary like the times we’ve sang in perfect harmony, but now I sing alone.[/s] The letters unite in formation – [ the ...

The images didn’t go away all class. I examined them over and over again and they started to look like [s]a[/s] picture. like pictures - plural There was a star, ...

Hello again, The principal, Mrs. Hoy, said that it would take a few weeks to get used to the bell schedule, but it took me until the week before school ...

Hey there, What are you?” I asked, my voice feeling changed in the damp atmosphere. I understood what you meant here and don't think it needs to be changed. Also, ...

John was born on a large brass bed. His mother could just make out the pale curve of her high, damp forehead in the warped mirror across the room. As ...