Jiggity

Hola! I have to be quick, I'm in a rush, but overall this is much improved! She almost fell , b ut she had to keep moving. She had to ...

Hello Mary, Welcome to YWS. :) You have quite a strange opening here, it's quite odd in tone and action - it's very description heavy, of things that have seemingly ...

Hola, Sur. So, I was a little too shocked to comment when I first read this haha. Not that I haven't come across this kind of stuff, I just never ...

Hey Hannah, I'm going to be quick with this, as per your request and say that I didn't get much out of this. It feels incomplete and rushed. The nature ...

o.O So, I'm not a poetry person. At all. Thus, what I say may be useless and or not relevant, ha. But I wanted to return the favour, so I'll ...

Hello Thar, It's a Karsten! :D So, I thought I'd come check this out - good fantasy isn't easy to find these days. But I was reasonably confident this would ...

Callinator! Helloo! It's been too long, woman. Now, this is some good shit here. Haha, had to be colloquial there XD. Honestly though, this is my favourite piece of yours ...

I stopped a little ways into Chapter Two. Chapter One bored me. Not bored me, actually, irritated is a better word. Mostly it was because of the interaction between the ...

Hello there, Nepthys! I see you're a fairly new member so, welcome! Eh - that was my reaction to this. I rarely, rarely - in fact, never, respond well to ...

^_^ Haha. Hey, Ky. So, we have another piece from you! Excitement. Well, once upon a time, yes? Now, not so much. Your writing is as fine as ever, Ky, ...

Hello, matey! Glad to see you got round to writin' and postin' this. It's gravy! I'm just going to point out some small, nitpicky stuff -- I tend to deal ...

Hey there Bowie, If I'm to treat these paragraphs as miniature chapters, then I must say, they are among the most boring, repetitive chapters I've come across. You really need ...

Hey-o Gryph, So, I enjoyed this. There were one or two typos that I'm sure you'll catch on your own. This won't be much of a critique, haha. I like ...

Hey-o, Miss Sachik-o! =D So, although it wasn't part of any deal, I thought I'd pop on over and return the favour you gave me. She’s standing at edge of ...

Hey Tiff! First off, I liked this - I must say your writing, of late, has improved since last I went over, so, good for you! Your hands are cold, ...