Jenthura

You should have credited Steven King's Cell for the idea of your story. EDIT: Ouch, I didn't realize this was another contest submission. I just did what I thought was ...

I would review the technical side, but you said no technical nitpicks. However, one technical input that I had to make was that you never tell us he's an alien ...

Hi, tr3x, please prepare for a very harsh review. If you don’t want to cry, don’t open the following spoiler. There. I’ve made my disclaimer, so don’t come crying to ...

Here as promised, Charc! First off, this was a great read, good work! I did find some mistakes, though. Let me nitpick the few errors I found. Surgery wasn't for ...

One thing that struck me was the resemblance this has to The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein. Was that purposeful? Part of the contest? Anyways, it's very beautiful, but, as ...

Hi, rubberduck, here to review. 'The day seems ordinary enough.' 'Tweet sent successfully.' Here, you have a little too strong a shade of foreshadowing. Foreshadowing is something like prophecy or ...

If I Fall... off a cliff- Would you risk your life to save mine? Excuse my lame post, but...depending on the size of the cliff, would it not be impossible ...

There aren't actually any rabbits in F-16s. Sorry if that's why you clicked on this story; I'll try to put them in later. That's exactly why I came here. Just ...

I'm really sorry, RPatz, I just can't get my mind around poetry. It's not your fault, but mine; I'm a completely ignoramus beyond poems like "cat-hat" Sorry! However, if you ...

Hi, RH! Here as promised. I’ll get right down to the nitpicks, but be warned, they mostly concern themselves with technical errors. “How much farther is the castle?” Mud asked ...

Nice scene, but it's a little cliched. Also, you need, need, need to put dialogue tags onto all that dialogue! I got so confused reading it. And, as wickedwonder said, ...

Hmm, I'm not really impressed. So there's a girl who manages to catch the big fish in the school without trying. So he's crazy about her, so things are falling ...

:lol: I like this a lot! I must admit that I feel Schadenfreude towards the poor loser. Anyways, you start off with an 'And' which is never a good thing ...

Hey, roostangarar, let me point out the few problem areas I found. "Look guys", said I, "We've got a distinct lack of any facial movement or even verbal response. What ...

Hey, Snoink! I love the little girl’s voice throughout all these chapters! You’ve done an awesome job. Anyways, I found a few problems with this chapter. One was what B2 ...