Jeanette

First off, I really like the format you've gone with; the incomplete sentence kind of thing. I must say though, that even though I think it's good the way it ...

I love the message and story it tells, but your rhythm is off. Try reading it aloud and see where you've got too many syllables. Some of the words you ...

it's great poem! It'd be great as a note on Google or something. Haha, but you've been told about all this already. Great job, the rhythm is good, you kept ...

Very nice rhyming! It tells a great story and you've got a great rhythm going throughout the entire poem. The words you chose to rhyme were excellent and intertwined nicely ...

The vocabulary really makes the poem, it puts it in the time period you're talking about. The rhyming was brilliant as well, though I wonder why you stopped in the ...

You seem to lose the rhythm as you go through the poem. The style of rhyming doesn't help that, though the style does fit the subject. You start the poem ...

I love the mirrored style you used, though the poem itself didn't really paint a picture (for me at least). All the adjectives and details are there, I just think ...

I love the language you used! It creates a vague image without really giving anything away, leaving the reader to create their own meaning and insert their own tribulations in, ...

Very well written; I love the style. It puts the person in the same position as the narrator. The emotions that you describe, and they way you describe them make ...