Jay

Hi Saphirra, welcome to YWS! This piece is a little long to review all in one go. I would cut it down to the first chapter. PM me when you ...

This is too long to review in one go-why don't you cut it down to a more manageable length? PM me when you do that, and I'll do a critique ...

Hi there! This is very long, so maybe you could cut it down a bit? When you do that, send me a PM, and I'll do a detailed critique.

This is a little bit too long to critique all in one chunk. Why don't you break it down and post the first small bit? I'll post a detailed critique ...

This is an action-packed and gripping opening with lots of potential. The ending leaves people wanting to know more. I find the world this is set in very interesting and ...

I like how emotion is expressed, while at the same time the poem isn't drowning on it-the pacing is kept up. I actually think this could work a lot better ...

Probably anything by Paul Jennings.

I agree with Lil Dono-Hogwarts is the best thing about the Harry Potter series. I still liked the ending, though-all the loose ends were tied up nicely and I loved ...

Like the others, I found it cute and funny. I love the line "that I will look like weird Al Yankovic"

This is such an interesting concept! So the story's going to focus on Satan's daughter who's been kidnapped by God? It has potential for so much humour as well. I ...