JamesPeterson

:D This seems like a very relatable poem. I like how it is organized chaos, which is essentially what humans are. It captures the essence of the zig-zag, jumping from ...

Nice! This seems kind of small. If it is supposed to be a prologue put that at the top. If it is meant to be a chapter it needs some ...

Hello! I enjoyed your piece. The way of telling it kind of like a poem was very cool. Your use of words is very nice. For example, I liked how ...

Nice! Overall it was a good story! However, to me this seems as more of an exposition. I hope you plan on making a second, as not much happens in ...

I like the "candidness" of the story. Its brutally honest and I like it. The grammar is pretty good, and I like the way you wrote it. (But there are ...

The descriptions are great, and you really express surroundings and colors without using colors. You use the gum, the "short swish" and "smelled slightly of lemons." It all works nicely ...