JFW1415

I'm back! By the way, only put one space in between paragraphs. This makes it seem much longer, and people will be afraid to critique it. I'm not going to ...

The promised critique... Numbers next to the highlighted parts correspond with the 'highlighted comments' below. Oh, and ignore the random red/green swiggly lines under some words. Word doesn't like y

You asked me to critique everything in your portfolio, so here goes! ;P The numbers next to the highlighted areas correspond with the 'highlighted comments' below. Prologue Highlighted Comments 1. ...

I'm back, again! :wink: You asked me for more critiques a while ago, and I'm finally on April vacation week, so I should be able to do a lot. :) ...

I finally finished! Sorry, I didn't get the chance to get back on the computer last night, and was at school all day today. :roll: The numbers next to the ...

Hello! Your piece is short and I'm procrastinating, so here you go! The numbers next to the highlighted parts correspond with the numbered comments below. Highlighted Comments 1. I personally ...

Here you go! The numbers next to the highlighted parts correspond with the 'highlighted comments' below. Highlighted Comments 1. I’d ditch this word. It’s awkward, and kind of sounds like ...

It seems really good. It's late now, so I can't go in-depth, but I did notice one thing. You said that he had already taken in over half of what ...

This won't be helpful, but I wanted to leave a comment. Beautiful. You captured the emotions so well. The grief, the need to laugh despite the circumstances, the dry humor ...

This is for that contest...thing, isn't it? Where they give you the first sentence? If so, let us know. At first I thought you stole this from someone. :wink: Honestly? ...

Honestly? This is not a prologue. As I was reading, I thought you accidently put this here. It looks like the beginning of a StoryBook. I don't think this should ...

I would talk forever, If someone wanted to listen. I won't smoke. Never. Not even if someone handed a lighter and package to me. I have friends - no bests. ...

Hello again! Same format as always. Highlighted Comments 1. Very confusing beginning. I’d suggest something more like: ‘When I was fourteen…’ Also, this is pure telling. Slip these details int

I'm back! Please don't kill me if I repeat people. :wink: The numbers next to the highlighted parts correspond with the 'highlighted comments' below. Highlighted Comments 1. This could be ...

I liked it. ;P I can't give a very good critique, as I don't do poetry, but Vernon's been making everyone in the chat read this. :P One comment: I ...