Incandescence

Ayra, Future attempts should be grounded in reality. More concrete images, less abstract nonsense about puddles of hope and rays of forgiveness. Not a lot to be excited by. Best, ...

Suzanne- Rhyming is predicated off of syllabic equilibrium or pattern--this exhibits neither quality in a demonstratively satisfying way. The topic does little to alleviate the mindnumbing boredom its

sdshaw08-- This is mind-numbingly boring prose cut up into barely bite-sized pieces with a blade not sharp enough to cut hot butter. Throw it out. Best, Brad

**Updated**

Whitewings, This is formula stuff. Rain, tears, heart, broken rhythm. Nothing new or interesting. Best, Brad

**Completed**

**Updated**

Colleen-- Consider: Joni Mitchell. All the best, and thanks! Brad

**Updated**

**Updated**

**Updated**

Amelia-- Thanks for reading more of this drivel! =] In "book form" (as opposed to "post form"), the first part is more a glimpse of the future, not something immediately ...

**Updated**

Mad-- Here's a line by line. Thousands of faces and millions of hands, -Hyperbole doesn't do much for poetry; in general, it makes whatever narrative there is less than genuine, ...

crewgurl93 Unlike Claudette, I don't care about you. What I do care about is the Narrator, who presents a story as compelling as a C-SPAN Special. Best, Brad