Incandescence

A very demure portrayal of adolescent navel-gazing. Self-referential language rarely works in poetry, unless you have some pretty strong images and ideas to back it up. Nevertheless, just because you ...

This was a bunch of interrogative nonsense. Perhaps if you would drop the questions and start using [original] imagery to explain your ideas, the poem would be better. For instance: ...

Who cares? Not only was this piece devoid of all emotional sympathy, but it also lacked any kind of coherent synthesis of ideas. Your images and metaphors were weak, if ...

Two fundamental definitions: 1. Journal entry--Writing in which the writer tells the reader what emotions the writer is experiencing about something. 2. Poem--Writing in which the writer causes the re

Which, in essence, is the very point of this piece. It was written for my Postmodernism class; hence, fragmentation and (dis)connects are rampant. Allow me to paraphrase T.S. Eliot for ...

I don't have a critique -- there's nothing there worth critiquing. Some poets make the mistake of opening up too large an issue, others focus on microcosmic spectacles. You achieved ...

Jack, First Stanza: This is chopped up, mediocre prose with just about every beginner's mistake in the book - a feeble attempt to draw a grand moral from a weak ...

Some small crits: Ghostly hands caress your face Okay... Loving you isn't enough anymore Very unconnected to the first line. Also, you need to answer what is enough, now? Miles ...

This made me shake my head, not a good thing. Vague, self-conscious language leading me nowhere. Practically speaking, the word "'Cuz" is repulsive in a poem. There's some odd punctuation, ...

A peace in irony: The poem decries the philosophy of science as an evil, dehumanization posing as 'anatomical art'; the irony lies thus: the poem itself is structured 'scientifically' and ...

I didn't like it. The smooth-flowing sentences lulled me to sleep, so I have no idea what I read. You need sonorization (creation of noise in silence), you need to ...

Interesting. I'm not fond of the one-word lines: it isn't effective and you want your stanzas to taper down near the end. Why? It's visually appealing. I think I saw ...

I then got a shock as Anthony Swanson’s voice began to talk ‘Are you ready?' Unintentional rhyme you may wish to remove. Also, I find that fact that his voice ...

Jack-- It's too long. You lost momentum after the third stanza and concluded by succumbing to repetitive images and meaningless phraseology. That is not to say, however, that there are ...

I was in Russia but after meeting with Dr. Lukva or something I was shipped into a psychiatric ward, which my parents refused to pay for, which brought me back ...