Incandescence

All-- Thanks for taking your time to read and respond to this. Crysi, The first is a call, the second an answer. The third: resolution. Poetry articulates the gaps in-between. ...

Fantasy of You-- This is instantly forgettable fluff with a pastoral and conversational tone sprinkled throughout. It wanders randomly towards an end-goal only the writer must find satisfying. The sec

watergirlwriter3-- Welcome to the YWS; there seem to be a lot of other "girlwriter"s or "writergirl"s about the site. Maybe you can all start a family! That would be neat. ...

Jack, There's some good writing here. A few suggestions: Consider dropping L11. The point has been made with L10 and L11 adds little. I think the poem gathers force by ...

emotion_less-- This could have its moments, particularly at the end, but I get the feeling that it was posted in haste. When I encounter something like: "Razor blades and pills ...

carelessaussie13-- I hope somebody really does appreciate this. I don't. "I", "I", "I": this is a poem to yourself. You're using up bandwidth, and I remind you YWS is not ...

lexy-- I had two reactions to this: one was to laugh maniacally and put it out of mind; the other was to wretch at the thought that you claim to ...

Crysi, We obviously have a camaraderie of sorts between author, reviewer and dedicatee. As it were, dedication poems are naturally difficult to critique, but below I have attached a possible ...

Soldier boy jack-- If you knew this was bad, why would you post it? If YOU think something is bad, what makes you think WE care to read it? Unless ...

Soldier boy jack-- This reads like an excuse to get points. This may come as a shock to you, but you are posting in an on-line poetry workshop. The quality ...

Chanson, This isn't working for me in its current form. The layout of the piece seems to beg for reading it as parallel streams - the "fixed" standard-angst poem and ...

Soldier boy jack, You've used the whole Sarenghetti and left a blob on the paper. You've neglected to proofread your work (os dead

Krystalstars, Please read the rules before posting in the forums. YWS does not generate critiques autonomously--critiques come from members who must take the time out of their lives to read ...

write me, I looked here for something new. I could have saved my time. Given the title and the trope, there is nothing here that surprises or delights the reader. ...

Sara, You have some interesting material here, but to my ear S1 and the last half of S3 should be in a different poem. They seem to fall squarely into ...