Published November 7, 2006
Black roses
___________
It's true
You reap what you sew
And all I have to show
Is a black rose garden
Everyone Morns the black roses
Beautyfuly dangerus looking
But deadly to the touch
These thorns cut
And they cut deep
I just have to weep
I sit here cut and bruised
Have I lost?
Can I replant these seeds and see
A new garden
A new me?
Everyone Morns the black roses
Beautyfuly dangerus looking
But deadly to the touch
These thorns cut
And they cut deep
I just have to weep
No more
I refuse to give in
I'm giving it my all
Soon those black petals will fall
I WILL stand tall
Everyone morns the black roses
No more
I'm replating
Putting down stronger deeper roots
And the black will turn to white
I have to weep
This time in happyness
No more
Black roses
Black roses
Black roses Fall
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
141,695 Literary Works • 675,575 Reviews
Probably not...when it comes to grammar I suck......
this question is sincere, i'm honestly not trying to by sarcastic... did you mean to capitalize each "morns", and spell "beautyfuly" like that? i'm just wondering because my friend always says beauty-fully, almost like two words, and it reminded me of her. very nice, in any case.
Well....there's kinda a message. I wrote this after my father passed away so I think it's kinda about getting tired of feeling like Crap and standing tall...
This is very good, is there a message in it? Even if there isnt i xreally liked it, and im now gonna go read more of your stuff
Thanks! This is one of my favorites, next to "Fade Away."
The ratio would generally go like this:
Review 2 pieces of work ---------> You may submit 1 piece of work.
When the site is operated like this, it works much more effectively.
Well, since this is actually not the appropriate place to discuss this topic, I won't go further on it.
Here's my critique, regardless:
I'm glad to see that the poem does have meaning and is not just a jumble of words that sound right together. There are a few spelling mistakes that should be fixed but I like the poem, nonetheless.
As always,
POKE
I did review others work...... 2 people's just like you said.
Krystalstars,
Please read the rules before posting in the forums. YWS does not generate critiques autonomously--critiques come from members who must take the time out of their lives to read and question a piece. As such, posting your works without first reviewing the works of others defeats the purpose of YWS.
Good luck,
Brad