Incandescence

All - I appreciate all the feedback on this piece. Unfortunately, about 70% of its readership deduced it was about tattoos without my saying, so I'm not real sure what ...

Dear Claudette: re: Prologue I was not hooked. This was uninteresting mumbo-jumbo to sound ominous and establish a sense of foreboding doom. I suggest you let your characters act out ...

Kinsely, A set of irrational acts rendered in irrational prose. The poem says that you have ceased to partake in our apathy towards some unnamed endeavor (genocide? rape? violence?). Van ...

Snoink, This clunks through like you slapped it together without thought. The paragraph PImp has pulled is the only paragraph here even close to matching the voice and elegance of ...

Certainly Love: Good grief. Poetry once involved the careful and precise use of language to articulate an idea or emotion. re: "But what needed to be said has been said ...

Cathy, You have posted here over a time-frame, and while I have not detailed your YWS sojourn, I do know that you are consistently posting below the average level of ...

misspriss - You post here in full knowledge that your work will subjected to relatively harsh criticism. I have only two things to say: 1. At this level of attainment, ...

Hi, Sweetness - This reads like an exercise. There is absolutely nothing here to captivate your audience. If the goal was to complete an assignment--you probably did well. However, if ...

dramagurly-- I, I, I, me, me, me. I get the distinct impression that you write for therapeutic reasons as both of your pieces "tell" us all about you, and the ...

Chandni - This is OK, but it needs additional work. At its heart, this is a series of statements that need to harmonize for the poem to be effective, and ...

piepiemann22-- What you've posted here is junk. Throw it away. It isn't worth the effort to edit because there isn't anything here. You should couple it with actual poetry if ...

Seven, What's in plain sight is that your work is misplaced here. At the very minimum, poetry is expected to show us something--anything. To do less is to insult your ...

Welcome, Dying Immortal - My advice is to get your head out of your butt and your pen out of your navel. Not even mentioning the moronic meandering and didactic ...

Little-Lucy-- This is glorified junk -- a heavy-handed appeal for sympathy from a one-dimensional cartoon character. The images are hackneyed and the last strophe is the stuff of parody. This ...

Hi, Andy - What's going on here? Is this fiction? Non-fiction? Doesn't matter, I guess. It has that, "Well, if The Great Me wrote it, it must be prose"-tone throughout. ...