Hippie

Hello Friend. The suspense is mounting! Couple of things. “What are you doing, Lee,” Question mark after Lee. “I’ll be writing that essay for History you’ve made us write,” Marcus ...

Hi Swift Shadow. Here's a few general tips I think will help round out this chapter. Firstly, description. Seing as this is set on a different planet, this is even ...

This is very short, so not much can be said. Before killing a character off, it's best to make the reader love or hate that character so that they'll care. ...

It's great how you give enough information to keep the reader from being confused, whilst withholding enough to keep the suspense up. I like how there's a question in my ...

I have to say, I thought this was very well written. Marcus already seems an interesting character, even at this early stage, and I want to know what happens to ...

Welcome to YWS. Here's your first review. The program was meant to make our soldiers better,stronger,smarter,and even more deadly. The concept of this first sentence is good because it raises ...

The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood has to be the worst book ever. I'm reading it for English at the moment and I can't read any more than 10 pages ...

Hi there. I won't be critiquing your writing style, because it's fine as far as I can tell. Instead hopefully I can help you understand the procedure they go through ...

Hello. I haven't read the previous 49 chapters (that's a lot), but I hope I can still help (even if that only means bumping this thread to the top of ...

Hi. I haven't read the previous chapters, so forgive me if anything I say wouldn't apply had I read from the beggining. First of all, it was good how you ...

You seem to have style nailed down. It flowed well and was easy to follow. Spelling and grammar were good too. I couldn't find much that needs changing - a ...

hurry up! And don't, don't ever, forget to critique it afterward, alright? Just sounding a little pushy there. Now on with the review. The drivers ahead seemed to keep their ...

Hi Kyllorac, I was going to say gilded, but the bloke above me beat me to it. The repetition doesn't stick out much, so I wouldn't worry about it. Even ...

Hi, do you live in Western Australia - I do. If during writing this novel you need any information about WA you can ask me. I've been around most of ...

This is a heartwarming tale. To think that people at war can put aside their differences and get to know each other as friends rather than just "the enemy". If ...