Heatherish

I liked this a lot. It is very short but sweet and that works. It makes me think of a persons life and how there are so many tiny little ...

I don't think that the dialog is that bad at all. The characters are not too perfect or flat but could be slightly more developed. ALSO, I think you could ...

Oh my gosh. That was amazing! I agree with the first comment that you should keep the man nameless. You may have meant it this way, but the whole time ...

Back again. Something I noticed especially in Chapter 4, was that almost every sentence starts with "He" or "She". After a while it gets redundant. You should see if you ...

Hey! Alright, so I have a few things to say about this part. First and foremost, I am enjoying this story so far. It is very early on but I ...

Hey, This is not the first thing I have read of yours but again, I'm not disappointed in the least. You have this incredible ability to write pieces that are ...

Hey, I agree with Stella's corrections and suggestions. So far, you just have a paragraph that is mostly back information, but at the same time I like the premise of ...

HEY!! So, I read this and I liked it a lot. I liked how you were able to show the reader the range of emotions and make them feel them ...

alright i liked this a lot. i like the flow although i dont think it is average at all in that aspect. the description could have been more detailed but ...

oh my gosh. ok let me get the one bad thing out of the way before i gush. i just think you should go back and put spaces in between ...

Hey!! Since you so graciously reviewed for me, I decided to return the favor!! Here's what I have so far: She smiled to her reflection in the mirror the window ...

well, i dont know how to answer your first question, but as for the second one, i like it when you have to slowly but surely learn about a character ...

1) How old do you think Yazra is? How old do you think she should be? I assumed that she was 18. I think it said that her mom was ...

wow i just read all 18 (?) chapters and i am hooked on your story. first and foremost let me say that i like your writing style a lot and ...

alright well i really did love your story, however there are a few character and plot points that could be improved upon. -i think we should find out about them ...