Haylie

I like the idea of the story However to improve you could add more detail and decription, such as, when you talk about the accidents, and his bleeding leg, you ...

This is amazing!! It's so cute, :') Like it's a little love story, The only problem i found with it was you said everyt ime It should be [quote]every time[quote] ...

I really liked you're story, you spelt some words incorrectly, but they have already been said so i won't repeat. To improve, I think you could describe what he was ...

You have a lot of feeling in what you write, however it didn't really engage me much. You could perhaps say the smells of the surroundings in your story, or ...

You have a nice little plot ;D However... I noticed a few spellin' mistakes, your grammar was really good though. Like in the first sentence Another Sunday, the same reutine ...

Why are you so good at writing >< Gawd, I'm jelous. Okay first thing is you need a comma I'd just been thinking (,) about what would happen if we'd ...

Wow i actually loved this :') You're really good. How old are you? Your grammar is almost perfect. Apart from missing a couple of comma's out Like. Gone, off into ...

I think that you could develop this into a bigger story :) I think it would work quite well, but you could make twists in it, to make it more ...

You have a really nice story coming along, there's a few spelling mistakes you have however and along with grammar mistakes. We all have them though. "My name is not ...

You had barely any comma's, expecially where you needed them. Even in your first line. I have to admit it needs a little edditing. For example. "Christi was a very ...