My life

Another Sunday, the same routine, the same lies. This is what started my every week: waking up to an alarm, getting ready for church, and finally arriving there. It's to easy to pretend, smoke a couple before heading in and the smiling comes easier than ever. It also makes lying easier, even if I did forget what the lies were.

Most of the people at church like me, however, I don't really stand out from the rest. I wear the same clothes, and my hair is a plain brown color with just a slight tint of red to it. My figure, slim and tall, is just like most other's there. That's the way I'd rather it be though, I don't want to be noticed. Being noticed means having to be fake; it means having to plaster that smile on your face like you've never done anything wrong in your life.

Of course I've done wrong though, everyone has. Most would consider me worse than others though, if they took the time to know me that is. I never had a good history with my parents, they always favored my brother over me so I pretty much gave up on them. You can't please everyone in the world and my parents are people I just can't please. I tried hard for many years and learned after a while that I don't care.

Being grounded for months changed me for the worst. That's where I picked up my nasty habits, smoking, drugs, stuff like that. Sneaking out was routine too, all the time especially on Saturdays. That way I was still high before church. Nothing lasts forever though, you always get bored with things, at least I do. I got bored with pot and moved on with my life. It didn't get worse I don't guess, I don't know how it could.

My ex always loved to come back in my life after he had broken me down. He always came back when I thought I had reached happiness. Weird how he does that huh? He came back to me in December and asked me out again. Me being stupid said yes and that started another bout of unhappiness. Four days of him non-stop got annoying after awhile so I dumped him. He made sure I would never forget it.

I found a new guy for myself, his name is Tyler. I almost lost him though, he is friends with my ex you see. Luckily he knew me for the honest type, even though most of my life is a lie. I'm still with him in the present, I'm so glad he stayed with me. He doesn't like all of the things I did in my past. In fact he hates them, but he loves me to much to leave me for them.

I always want to go back to my past, I don't know why though because it was horrible. My present is much better than my past was. Now I have some awesome friends, their names are Darby and Amy. They help me through everything that happens to me. Cracking jokes all the time and stuff like that to help.

Anyway that's where I am now. Going through life one step at a time. It's too bad that one step can make to sink or float. I think I'm floating now though.

*Authors Note* I don't know where I'm going with this I just started typing. Please Review.