Griffinkeeper

This is a nice outline. It sounds like some of the events come too easily, but I'll reserve this until you post an actual chapter from the work. Although the ...

A lot of what you said seemed mildly ridiculous. A lot of what you questioned should have been obvious, in fact every single person who has read it before you ...

I didn't find this battle scene particularly realistic. First off, all these rangers are lying around dead. How did they die and how come there is a survivor? Either one ...

You shouldn't wait to build character, you should do it quickly through nuances, words, and actions. The actions seemed fluid enough, which is a good thing. Here is my big ...

Pain. Somehow, this seems to describe my reaction to the angst poured all over my screen. Backgroundbob is right; the subject and topic in general is somewhat cliched. The more ...

Alright, instead of a real writing critique, I'm going to critique your characters. For one, they are all completely unbalanced and all of them look like they're stock characters. Folkner, ...

I haven't read it, though I hear it is a classic. Nice to see that you are reading them though. Most of the stuff I've been reading is history. Then ...

Second that, the Welcome thread is built for new writers such as yourself. As for this, it seems to lack substance. It is two sentences long. It seems like it ...

I seem to remember this being written as an example of what NOT to do. If this were real life, I'd be tearing my hair out and using it to ...

If this were dialogue, I'd ignore all the spelling errors. There are no quotation marks though. Thus, you aren't allowed to do this. Let's just assume that there are quotation ...

I like this. Don’t believe it. It is attention grabbing. While Sam is right that the other way is more effective, you have the concept of a hook down. Next ...

After a colossal bribe of gold and roast able animals, the orks returned to their encampment and feasted. Led by Gerhart the proud yet short dwarfs had to do this ...

I looked down at the tormented bodies.There owners gave there life for the city but that was not enough for the city of Vage was now emmiting flames that rose ...

You spelled prologue okay, it is an alternate spelling of prolog. I'm kind of annoyed at the story though. It seems like it is inappropriate for a prologue, perhaps it ...

Also, when you use all caps, the writing becomes very annoying to read. Simply putting an exclamation mark at the end will do the work for you. "My dog is ...