It is the fear of diabolical apparition and unknown entity that terrorizes the minds of youths.
Blind anxiety is the state that shakes them, it is the thought of death and the feeling of despair that controls their emotions.
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
Not much a review here, just to express my thoughts...
Humans are not scared of the dark. We are scared of what's in the dark.
See the difference?
The darkness doesn't frighten you, it's the thought of what lurks within it. Insects, creatures with fangs and claws, an intruder brandishing a knife, a ghost just waiting to snatch you up. It's the fear of the unknown and all the possibilities that suggests.
Personally, I stopped being afraid of the dark about three years ago. Now I walk around everywhere at night without a care in the world.
Forests at night, streets, basements, cellars, none of them frighten me anymore. I might run into a spiderweb or two, but honestly, nothing worse than that.
How did I overcome my fear? Well, I realized that the things I encounter in the daylight are far more scary. Responsibilities, debt, republicans... hah. Anyway, now that I'm older I've become more terrifying than anything in the dark. I can handle it.
Warm regards,
Aulyasela3597
Short poem.
So true.
Wow.
That's the vibe I'm getting too.
Apparently, it's a thesis statement...
What is this going to be? An article, an essay, or what? Depending on what it is, you might want to find out a bit more on the subject, write an introductory and add a conclusion statement at the end. That would help make it a bit more in-depth and a bit easier to understand.
Second that, the Welcome thread is built for new writers such as yourself.
As for this, it seems to lack substance. It is two sentences long. It seems like it has two sentences which are a thesis statement.
What is missing?
1. Details supporting your thesis statement.
2. In depth analysis of each detail.
3. A conclusion.
Can we get something more?
Why don't you introduce yourself in the Welcome forum? That way people will know you're new.
Thanks for your comments they have helped tremendously and thanks for welcoming me to the YWS, you are the first person who has done that.
I'm not sure how to respond to this. It's not that it's bad...I'm just not certain how to interpret this. Is it a story? poetry? just philosophical statements? Mind if I be nit-picky? It's the only way I know how.
If a diabolical apparation and unknown entity are the same thing, you may consider writing it differently. "a fear of a diabolical apparation, an unknown entity, that terrorizes the minds of youths." I agree with you...that we fear the unknown, and children more-so, as everything is newer to them. This is what I call a telling sentence, though. You could expand it by finding ways to show us the reasons, give examples, maybe tell a story....Hm. 1. I've always thought that death is not something children typically fear, or at least, it is not specific toward them. 2. There are many other things that control emotions, and they are not all so depressing. 3. Do children usually feel despair? Or better, why do they feel despair? Explain. 4. I'm not sure that 'state' is quite the right word. 5. Quick nit-pick: the comma needs to be a semicolon, or you can separate them into two different sentences. They are two separate ideas.
Welcome to YWS! Keep writing and posting. You've been pretty active so far (15 posts, ya know. You just got here yesterday) That's good.
~Jacquie~