Griffinkeeper

“Yep,” he said simply as he ushered me into the classroom where I saw Brandon was already there. This should be split into two sentences. The word "simply" isn't necessary ...

Please post two reviews before you submit a piece of work. This way, everyone gets a review. It all began in New York City. Krista lived in the Park Ave. ...

You're info-dumping all over this. Beckon had a humid-continental climate for the most part, but was divided into three main land regions. The first was the Developed Region. It contained ...

The goose seemed unable to keep a fight. You mean, "a flight." “Don’t be like that Glint,” she said harshly, pointing her finger at me. I gave one last hiss ...

What the heck? I have to wonder what the point of this story was. It seemed mostly about cramming as much gore and scenes from every terrible slaughter film into ...

im hutring inside.since you've left i had no pride. i've faked it for so long that im growing unstrong.your like a poison so black and cold.the sickness so bold , ...

I think this piece needs more content. A few paragraphs isn't very much to review. It was a... Tibetan Dragon. I could tell, my great-grandfather was a "dragon expert," and ...

I agree, this is major creepy. I like that. I think you should extend the beginning, maybe go into great detail about the care the people put into moving the ...

So let's start by not cursing out your reviewers. If you don't want this piece to be reviewed, I'd be more than happy to delete your story. You can then ...

Ugh. This is an info-dump and it isn't in a journal format. A journal format is simple: it describes what events occur on a daily basis. So, the timing of ...

"I ' ll be no longer confined by the laws of money and politicians." Because Ill and I'll are two different things. I like this poem. It is much nicer ...

First two paragraphs are info-dumping. Get rid of both of them. Fourth paragraph also info-dumps. Ambrose Dameon stood inside his house looking at the two boys pushing and playing with ...

Whenever you post a new speaker, it's good to give them some extra space. Instead of: “So is she? Is she going to discover something great about us?” asked Eglantine. ...

Firstly, if you're not sure whether to rate it PG-13 or R, rate it R. That way we don't get complaints from parents. Secondly, this piece is pretty powerful. The ...

First, spelling errors! Your hair is to red, your teeth are to long! The repetitive nagging of my mother through my mind Your just not human! The second sentence should ...