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Re: Pseyechia; Chapter 1.5: A News Story (Edited)
"I didn%u2019t read anything of the sort. Is she embellishing this report on purpose?" I accidentally cut the line of dialogue about developmental disability. This piece has been HACKED AND ...
Jan 5, 2017 -
Re: Burning
I don't know much about rap and any concrit I could have given has already been said, so I just want to leave kudos. This is very well done.
Jan 4, 2017 -
Re: Pseyechia; Chapter 1.4: A News Story (Edited)
"It seems to imply that, if Sienna behaves in a non-preferable way, her friends would treat her in a non-preferable way. If that's the case, then they're not her friends, ...
Oct 1, 2016 -
Re: Pseyechia; Chapter 1.2: A News Story (Edited)
There's no way you could know the strange ways of lab rats, but in the world of lab science, we just call it "lab". We go to lab, we work ...
Sep 26, 2016 -
Re: Pseyechia; Chapter 1.3: A News Story
Thanks for the review! I'll work on not using Sienna's name too much and not spelling out that Nia's warming power is a Psych thing. Unfortunately, I'm going to have ...
Sep 25, 2016 -
Re: Ungrateful (Edited)
Thanks for the review!
Sep 23, 2016 -
Re: Pseyechia; Chapter 1.2: A News Story (Edited)
Thanks for all the advice! I might ask for a line-by-line review or something like it if I hadn't already hacked and slashed this quite a bit after your review. ...
Sep 23, 2016 -
Re: 11:11 PM (Edited)
Thanks for the review! I'm thinking of changing the line "That would just be foolish; it would leave quite a nasty stain" because it would be sung (or possibly spoken; ...
Sep 19, 2016 -
Re: Pseyechia; Chapter 1.1: A News Story (Edited)
Thanks for the note about too much exposition; I was wondering about that too. Maybe I'll give Sienna a roommate to bounce things off of.
Sep 18, 2016 -
Re: Pseyechia; Chapter 1.1: A News Story (Edited)
I'm pretty far into this story, and journalism ended up coming up way more than I thought it would! I don't really know why. The muses are strange :P When ...
Sep 18, 2016 -
Re: 11:11 PM (Edited)
"Two points on this quote. The first is, I don%u2019t really understand the first line. I mean, is people pouring wine on the rug when depressed a Thing in movies? ...
Sep 17, 2016 -
Re: Don't Pretend
I can't review, I have been hit by an attack of the feels
Sep 15, 2016 -
Re: Forget Me
Typically, yes, but some people add extra choruses at the end, or cut them out before the bridge, etc. etc. so I thought I'd ask
Sep 15, 2016 -
Re: Ungrateful (Edited)
"Maybe change the first line to 'I don't have to be satisfied with the shame and the pain'" YES THANK YOU I am going to do that. I was going ...
Sep 15, 2016 -
Re: Forget Me
Ahhhh, okay! Is the chorus repeated at all?
Sep 15, 2016