Galerius

Hi SakuraFallsSweetly, This is a blind half-dead salmon traveling through a one-dimensional world. Yes, your poem is on a piece of paper and flows one way but you seem to ...

Hi Evi, First of all, the title can be absorbed into the first line of the poem or vice versa. You don't need to repeat. What did you do, pull ...

Hi emoinpink, This has been gathering dust for three months and I'm still not sure what to do with it Keeping it on its present path of cryogenic sleep seems ...

Hi HessicaJolt, The title pretty much sums up an appropriate response. Your poem seems to be attempting to grow images haphazardly in a dark lab and then ripping them out ...

Hi jasminebells, Let's be honest; this barely deserves half a "like", and that's a generous estimate. Your entire poem can be summed up in three lines: A man was to ...

Hi PoeticGlow, I've come to two conclusions. The first is that you may have confused the poetry section with the nonfiction prose forums. The second is that you actually think ...

Hi Demoness, Well, the good news is that this poem has so many problems that the reader's total distaste leads him to overlook many of them in favor of identifying ...

Hi Persephoneia, Nice try being cutsey, but all it serves to do is warm up this poem to the point that it melts. Ever taken liquified sugar and just drank ...

Hi silentriot, So I can feel feelings, huh? Guess that about sums up the intellectual prowess of this piece. You've clearly attempted to grasp everything ad nothing here, stuffing this ...

Hi BenFranks, Alright, here's a rundown of what made me really cringe throughout this piece. Line format. Yes, it may seem like a minor issue. However, when this demon lurks ...

TmB317, Yeah, why not just tack on "The sky's the limit!" onto the end of this poem. Maybe even "Follow your dreams!", that's a good one. This entire piece wept ...

Hi ehte92, This thing is dead. Here's your first problem: From the get-go, the reader immediately understands that "it" is supposed to be a metaphor for some hazy abstract half ...

Hi Jagged, This is good. This is... very good. You managed to avoid all of the pitfalls of using gimmicks - the lack of consistent punctuation and capitalization, for example, ...

Hi blackbird12, One of the primary - and glaring - missteps in this poem is that it follows such a predictable formula throughout. "A goes to B". "The chimes are ...

Hi wewinwelose, Yeah, no. I don't know if you are deliberately channeling Disney or if you just don't know what a cliche is, but phrases like this: I want to ...