Fortuna

You set the scene very well, I can feel a sense of panic and urgency. Now you need to provide the reader with some reason as to the cause for ...

Oh Azula, how I adore you. And yet...you're such a cold-hearted little *****.

Sorry I'm so late, I've been caught up with Arabic class and the like @__@ Anyway, you have an excellent story here, as usual, you little prodigy you ;) I ...

I get that you were trying to go for a sense of apathy here, but it just made the poem drag on and feel very weary and slow. I don't ...

*cracks knuckles* alrighty, let's see here. First off, I'm interested by the story concept, but I feel that you need to describe the different 'worlds' a little better. At first, ...

I really didn't know what to expect when I decided to read this- I'm not much of a Naruto fan anymore but I remember enough of the series to get ...

O__O Excuse me, I clicked on this thinking I'd have a good story about my favorite character, I didn't expect to come out of this worshipping you. This is exactly ...

[Here on request] Okay, the previous editors have done quite a nice job with most of the corrections, and I strongly suggest you follow their opinions. As far as the ...

The character development in here was excellent, I actually kinda like these people! XD So good job with that. I felt like your beginning was very interesting and attention grabbing. ...

I personally suggest you cut this up into smaller chunks and post it, it's rather a lot to read for one sitting. I feel like you need to pull the ...

Ooh, this is interesting and I'm going to have to go and read the other chapters now. My initial assumption was that the creature was a demon, but now I'm ...

This is a very nice story, I love the mood that you set up. The pacing is very nice and the words flow together. I think that you should leave ...