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Re: Freshly Fallen: Ch.1 'His Wish'
I read it. Good work, Renn. Can I tell you something? Your writing style is virtually the same as mine was a year ago. That's not to say your overall ...
Apr 17, 2011 -
Re: Water Under The Bridge Chapter Two: Anna
I read it. Anna seems to be the opposite of Shawn, which is good- everything needs an antithesis. I never nit pick, so nothing to say there. All's great, so ...
Apr 16, 2011 -
Re: Water Under The Bridge Chapter One: Shawn
I read it. Good job, and -hmmm- Shawn is very cynical, moody, and crass. It makes me wonder, "Will this person's incessant cussing and bleak outlook on life be explained ...
Apr 16, 2011 -
Re: REMOVED
I read some of it, kjr5horses. In one of your replies to this, you mentioned having written 55 pages in 4 weeks- WOW! How the heck did you do that?! ...
Apr 16, 2011 -
Re: The Violet Saga: Year One
I read it. This work is good, but you should go over it with precision to fix a lot of its sentence structure. You had several fragments like this: Watched ...
Apr 15, 2011 -
Re: Chapter 1: Warden Hill Institute
Can I admit that I found this disturbing? I mean- a girl who "goes into fits" that make her cut herself, and who sees numbers over peoples' heads that tell ...
Apr 14, 2011 -
Re: 1. The Secret Hero
I can't believe I'm saying this to someone my own age, but... that was amazing! I'm terribly jealous of your incredible gift. From the moment it began, everything- the characters, ...
Apr 14, 2011 -
Re: "Dark Stalker" - Chapter 1.1
I read the first half of this. To be honest, it's so forthcoming (elegant descriptions, bold characters, stately settings, etc.) However, your robust descriptions and plot-lines contrast directly with
Apr 13, 2011 -
Re: Hero’s Pride
What a great story! I thought it flowed well, so no comments there. It was also entertaining. My definition of entertainment is, "The length of time till I'm bored." And ...
Apr 9, 2011 -
Re: Vengeance (chapter one)
Hey writer, This is a good work, and I enjoyed it. However, you seem to have a problem with making items, places, and people truly significant to the protagonist. For ...
Mar 31, 2011 -
Re: Specials - Chapter 2
I read your first chapter and thought it was unique, but I think your plot could use something a bit deeper that makes me really care about your characters more. ...
Jan 27, 2010
