FlyingDream

Hi. Welcome to YWS, my name is FlyingDream. My first suggestion for your story is to change the font. It's kind of distracting. 2nd, your dialogue seems a little bit ...

Hi! Welcome to YWS. I'm FlyingDream. What I've read here is very very very good. But I suggest that you put spaces in between your paragraphs to make it easier ...

Hey Ayra, I've read your stuff before, but this is the first time I've commented...I think. :) Anyways, first of all, yes, this was very good. I liked it. But ...

Thanks for editing, now it's a lot easier to read. I'm still seeing some grammar and spelling errors, but not as bad as before. Read through your work AT LEAST ...

Hi! Welcome to YWS! I'm FlyingDream. Okay, your story was very good, it kept me reading all the way through. But, I suggest you give some names to your characters ...

I agree with SeraphTree. Your names do sound Chinese. I know a website that can help you out with that though. It's called: It has some really useful name generators ...

I liked this. I could relate to "Bookworm". Your characters are very believable, so that's very very good. It would be nice if you spaced this out a bit. Example: ...

Hello again! I was excited to see Chapter 2 up and running. Again, you need to space out your paragraphs. I'm seeing big blocks of text. Your spelling and grammar ...

I sense a lot of anger here...And that's good. It means that I could relate to your character here and it felt real. Way to go! I only have a ...

Very good. I only found one thing that needed fixing, but the rest was really good. :) “Don’t tell me what I can and can’t do! Answer my question!” she ...

Okay, before I try and read this I think you should space it out a little bit. Big blocks of text scare me away. Try putting spaces in between each ...

I liked this because I can soooo relate to it. I only found a few errors. :) I thought about my summer events and all I did was spent great ...

Okay, first I suggest you space this out a little bit so it's easier to read. ...that marked the spot where (only visable in the day) a monsterous mansion was ...

Okay, I found a few things that need to be fixed, so I'll list them here. The boy was only about 13 years old but had made the torturous journey ...

In those days, before the shattering of the kingdoms in the Nether Age, there was a fair kingdom known as Ilystra, its high buildings set on shining hills. Here dwelt ...