Flemzo

This was remeniscent of Prince's awful symbol name. The only things I can point out are the use of formally v. formerly, and "actually" in the line "But not the ...

I like the use of second person here. It's almost as if he spent so long holding in his feelings that he finally needed to release them somehow, so he ...

First off, like many people are going to say, space your paragraphs better. On here, you should enter twice for each new paragraph (like you'll soon see, once I make ...

As Claudette gets some rest, I have a few concerns: It just doesn't seem to flow quite right. In the first stanza alone, you have a few different line lengths, ...

I have no idea what to say about this piece (it's a good thing, I really enjoyed it). I love how she's using all of this faulty logic to justify ...

I liked bubblewrapped's ending. I agree that you should milk as much emotion out of the ending as you can. I mean, seriously, I highly doubt that, if you saw ...

I'm agreeing with misspriss: this was probably one of the creepier stories I've read. While the story does seem a little vague, I was trying to look for symbols throughout ...

Example 1 Running through the tunnels, Derren brandished his torch-light and used a little magic to keep it burning. But, even magic could not accomplish the inevitable: the torch went ...

I'm curious to where this is going. This seems really short, and the ending is really abrupt. What's going to happen once they get to Grissom's office? What exactly is ...

I agree with Snoink. The story seemed to jump around a lot, and at times it was hard to follow. But I liked the story behind it; who would've thought ...