Flame11

I have to agree with BeKWithaK. Too many people these days are too criticizing of those who aren't honest about who they are. And those same people are also overly ...

:roll: You've done it yet again! One thing that bothered me right away is that you don't know right away what's being written or thought. Maybe for what they write, ...

I agree with Empress about the secrets thing. You should let us find out more about who Ayden is and maybe a bit more of what he enjoys. Yes, you ...

I think most of the nitpicking was done by Kibble. A lot of grammatical errors. And befuzzled isn't even a word. Not that I know of. I think you mean ...

This is fantastic. Chocoholic, it was Barabbus. I'm a Christian. I would know. DW, it's a bit confusing as to who is talking so try to fix that. As Sam ...

This was fantastic! One thing that I felt wasn't right. She had been sobbing quietly when Leroy had sat beside her and with such tenderness asked her what was wrong. ...

Ok. I was just told by DW that there is no rule about this stuff. I guess I was wrong. Sorry. Anyway, DW just informed me that it's a "he" ...

I agree with the other reviewers that the mother part was confusing... Why would he say, "I'll be there in a minute" then have sex with Helen? I've had no ...

I've never seen anything like this! I like it. Even without the other half of the conversation, we could still understand what the other person was saying. Great job! Shame ...

This is great! I liked the verses. This seems like someone who's lost someone who he or she loved and wants them to come back. That last part... [Exit Verse] ...

This is great! But a lot of grammatical errors. I agree with Calix... It's a cliché. A lot of big paragraphs in this. You need to break it up. A ...

OK. Lotta grammar mistakes but you can fix that with no problem. You have a narrator. But it's confusing because you switch between both first and third person here: Patrick ...

This is great so far! I agree with all of the people above. Add more descriptions. Break up the paragraphs. Add dialogue. Like you said with my CSI story, the ...

Great! It's a bit confusing especially this part here: But Kate tries to cheer me up, “I’m sure you’ll get them up and out!” The encouragement doesn’t work. It makes ...

Great work! I like how u made it closely related to "To Kill a Mockingbird." I agree that you should cut out that pervert part. It doesn't flow with the ...