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Re: Alone, With a Book
Howdy, John! To start off, the intro to this story wasn't very catching. You went on about the main character thinking about turning a page, and talking about what she ...
Jan 5, 2013 -
Re: About Death
Hey there, ndioro! Interesting piece you have here. :) His eyelids were half closed, and long strands of brown unshorn hair fell on the covered with cold sweat forehead. This ...
Aug 11, 2011 -
Re: Fear of the woods
Hey there, LostMagi! I quite liked this piece, really. At the end, I expected the girl to survive - and I didn't really expect her to be pregnant. Overall this ...
Aug 11, 2011 -
Re: Discovering the Power
Hey there, Hawkie! This is a good start! It definitely needs some work and refining, but you've got a great start for this prologue. If you are reading this, then ...
Aug 11, 2011 -
Re: Heartbreaker
Hey Boolovesyou. I'm Heather, and I'll be your reviewer today. :wink: Okay, in general, this could use some work with the proper grammar and flow. This is also a relatively ...
Aug 9, 2011 -
Re: deleted
Hey there, Lele! Overall, this is a pretty good piece. I kind of like the idea/message you're giving with this - but I do have one thing that I would ...
Aug 9, 2011 -
Re: Lgeacy Chapter five part one
Hey there Artemis, interesting piece you have here! It was ideal in many ways, but it had few issues. The way you put this makes it sound like it doesn't ...
Aug 7, 2011 -
Re: Journeying Through my Mind
Hey there, Twinseed! Here as requested. dank Mind until You actually don't need to capitalize the "M" in Mind, even though it's the beginning of the line. It's not the ...
Aug 3, 2011 -
Re: Flames of Death
Hey there, Twinseed! Overall, this is a pretty good piece, especially considering the word limitation you had. I almost wish there was more to it - maybe you should consider ...
Aug 3, 2011 -
Re: Dark Turning Chapter One : Children
Hey there, Dasia! Here to review, as desired. :) This is pretty good, though it needs some work. Overall, I think the main issues are punctuation/grammar, as well as some ...
May 25, 2011 -
Re: Lilies
Hello there, Luxe! This is an interesting piece you have. Not that bad, really. Definitely a wonderful start. =] The areas highlighted in red are where there are mistakes/potential changes, ...
May 24, 2011 -
Re: night
Hey there, Iridescent! I'm Heather, and I'll be your reviewer. Feel free to contact me for any further help or if parts of my review didn't make sense - I'd ...
Jan 16, 2011 -
Re: The Moon Betrayed Me
Hey Boolovesyou, and welcome to YWS. My name is Heather, and I'll be your reviewer. Ginny used to be normal; a little girl with big dreams. She wanted to be ...
Dec 9, 2010 -
Re: The Ocean
Hey there, Justagirl! I'm Heather, and I'll be your reviewer. :D You have a decent poem here, though there are some bits that bother me - mostly with flow. Our ...
Dec 8, 2010 -
Re: Jump
Hey there, ilovemyboys. I'm Heather, and I'll be one of your reviewers. =D This is quite an interesting piece. It's incredibly short, though the meaning and back-story comes through quite ...
Dec 8, 2010
