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Hello Errant. “Constance--” You only need one dash here. Two is largely unneccessary. -“Clashing to extinction, the bastards of the Goddess annihilated each other until only humanity remained.�

Just picked one thing up that no-one's mentioned. “Hard to believe you 're almost are sixteen already.” he said with strong, nurturing tone. You're missing the -re from this sentence. ...

Hey, Fye;). Been a long time. It reads a lot better, but now it all seems pretty rushed. One moment, he's at home, another, he's at the battle field. We ...

Due to recent events, I found this poem even more touching. Though not flawless, I'd say the structure is good enough for my poorly poetic brain to not pick up ...

My main quibble (or great rant) with this is that it is all telling. That's a big no-no. Don't be discouraged by this comment though, I'll give you some tips. ...

Hello, kinoeslayer :) . I'll start off with a line-by-line. She wanted to be ready if something came near that didn’t sound like her little, furry friend. Using the 'her' ...

A Winston Churchill quote. Great for pulling me in :wink: . Although gyr and Smurf have sorted it throughly with precision, I felt like I need to add my two ...

I'm afriad you've spelt the title wrong: 'dying' , not 'dieing'; 'cross out the -e and add -ing' eh? I've got to pick up on the first line: My tetrouse ...

Night hung thickly, like water, always everywhere. That sentence sounds rather awkwards, mainly due to the always and the placing of everywhere. I can see the kind image you're trying ...

*head/desk**head/desk* *head/desk* This is blogging. We do not need to know. Doing this sort of thing will drive people away from your story rather than entice them to read it. ...

Ayra, For the sake of not repeating myself, read the first two paragraphs of Sacred's review and the Overall thought as the same applies to you pretty much. I'll say ...

Before I go into my review, I have to give you some advice. You should really read the rules before you decide to post a story. They state this: Before ...

Hey, magiclukehutch. :) Agree with Sumi, there isn;t much to review here. Try to expand on this. But what I'm mainly worried about is the credibility of it. Most people ...

Ello, Blue! :D Fan here. First I'll do a line by line... He had all ready published a psychological thriller novel and now he was trying to come up with ...

'Ello Ashgan :D ! Saw this had no crits so I though I'd help out. First I'll do a line before the overall analysis. (Just to say, this font should ...