ExOmelas

Hi there, I haven't read the other chapters but I am going to do my best to make this a useful review for you. We are transported to Enki’s home ...

I'm really really sorry but I'm going to review this without reading the other chapters. I will do my best to make this useful in some way to you. Well, ...

Hi there, nit-picks first: I look over at my sister, I sigh, and embrace her in a hug. Should be a new sentences at "I sigh". This is called a ...

Nit-picks first: THE DIM DAYLIGHT SHATTERED AGAINST THE FLOOR OF THE DORMITORY. If this is supposed to be the capitals at the start of a chapter, put it back to ...

Nit-picks first: You ' r e the one on the hill. Other than a couple of comma placing issues, that seems to be the only nit-pick. So I read in ...

Nit-picks first: come on it's not like we live in Never Never Land This should be a new sentence. friend ' s parents. God, she just doesn’t get it, I’m ...

Ok, first thing is. As ForgottenMemories would say, ellipsis has 3 dots. Three. No more, no less. Anyway. I link you're capitalisation/lower-casing of 'I' and 'i' but I think in ...

Nit-picks: Just as I was about to deliver the killing bite one thousand four hundred different smells I think this is a bit too specific for a cat. 'A thousand' ...

I've read this poem a couple of times now and I have a few major problems. The first is the strict conformity to rhyme scheme. I am all for rhyme ...

Hi. While I agree wholeheartedly with the message of your poem, I'm worried your argument isn't convincing enough. You haven't shown why people should embrace it. If you had something ...

This sensational feeling... It feels good. Kind of stating the obvious here :P They annoyed me deeply. Explain why. Asteroids are not normally described as annoying. It would therefore help ...

I wish I sparkling in sunlight. sparkled she was able to successful dislodge herself from under Caius successfully Her and Caius only ever used it when they were moving town ...

'“I went shopping. Had to buy food seeing as though I can’t live off blood anymore. By the way, you only have one bag left. I didn’t know. If I ...

Hey there, time to get this thing the hell outta the green room! Nitpicks: '“’I wish Kira were a worse thief.”' - You have a kind of awkward inverted comma ...

“Kill your guard friend then close your eyes and don’t move until some tells you to. Forgot my face.” - take a new paragraph for this speech 'Tears brimmed in ...