ExOmelas

Hey so I'm a little tired so I'll do detailed nit-picks another time. Just two general grammar-y things I will say: 1. Direct speech: When a character uses a speech ...

Okay, nit-picks first: A well trained, hardened, well oiled fighting team from the SEAL team 6. I don't really have reasoning behind this, but I think you should put "and" ...

So there's going to be two parts to this. First I'm going to give feedback, then I'm going to argue back. Well, not really argue back, which would suggest I ...

I wonder what Raimes makes of it. He’s probably been puzzling over it for years.His apprentice had always been quite inquisitive. I'm a little bit confused here. Is the 'I' ...

Hey there, so when I review I start off with nit-picky grammar things, then just sort of go freeform for the actual criticism. I had a much more structured plan ...

Hey there, here as promised. I'll start with nit-picks: I lay in my bed, reliving the impact, the glass, the pain, but it’s washed out by the defining sounds of ...

Fleck started walking into the training room in the Gathering complex for training, and then he saw his trainer with the younger Trainees. Some form of the word 'train' is ...

Hiya, thought I might as well review this since I'm fairly confident you're reviewing mine at this moment. Juniper shot a look at the seed pile. “Well, I’ll just leave ...

The pub was about a ten minute walk away so she figured she could go and meet up with Joe and find out what the hell was going on he ...

Hey, I'm just reviewing Chapter 17 just now. I will come back for Chapter 18. Your first couple of lines are unusually formal and very abrupt. You should vary your ...

Hey, I'll do some nit-picks first. His demon-like black eyes watch ed her like a stranger as the tip of his tongue captured a droplet of blood from the corner ...

Heyyy, Holy! Bisc here. I'll do nit-picks first: “he's waking up!” I feel momentarily Should be a new paragraph here. In your first paragraph you have a lot of sentences ...

This is a story, that doesn’t end. The full stop at the end of this line contradicts the idea of continuation. Maybe not have any full stops ever, to show ...

as if from somewhere else. This is unclear. Is she having an out of body experience? Does she feel the shaking in a different part of her body. He poured ...

Hi there. I'll review chapter 1 just now and see about coming back to review the rest. “What do you want,” I yelled out He’s asking about some assignment,” the ...