EvensLily

Hey, Welcome to YWS! Slight grammatical error! his whiskers across me cheek - do you mean my cheek? This poem was very good. I got exactly what you were talking ...

Heya! Just a few grammatical errors to begin with... yey! and the touch of His body Why is he capitalized? - also on the last line. which had always made ...

Heya, This is great, I love the story line. Her brother is so sweet and kind. It's brilliant. Just one thing though, I'm not sure with your writing style. It's ...

Hey! Right, just to begin with I think we should take a look about your writing style because even though it is good, some slight changes to this short story/beginning ...

Heya, First off, it was good! I love the title the reason for rain thought it was really good. Your writing was good, not too blocky which is always a ...

Heya, I think that you need to go back and re-read things, change Grammatical errors. This is the thing that really frustrates me about this story because it can be ...

Heya, Just out of interest where did the title come from? Its very good :) I was slightly confused when I started to read this, it started out as an ...

Heya, I like the chapter title Just another everyday vampire party - yeah, cuz that happens everyday! As a writer of Vampires and werewolves and all that Jazz, I am ...

Heya, As a person who also writes fantasy fiction (y'all know, Werewolves, Vampires... all that jazz!) When I saw you title I was immediately intrigued. I enjoyed your chapter and ...

Hello, Your writing... Amazing! Love the story. I HAVE to go back now and read the rest of it, your writing is unique and flows from pen to page and ...

Heya, I've read all your chapters by the way, I am so intrigued by the story line. I think though your writing can be improved slightly. I think you could ...

Hey there, Living in Amsterdam, every time I hear Coffee shop, I immediately think of drugs! but when I saw it was romantic, I forced myself to click and found ...

I really enjoyed this, it was really funny. Personification with cheese and eggs, I thought it was brilliant. I didn't have a clue what you were going to be writing ...

Heya, I was slightly disappointed with this, sorry, but it was only speaking! Where's the description? Where's the feeling? to me it's just a whole batch of conversations! I'm sorry ...

I love this! I thought the writing was really mature... really well done! You managed to describe everything perfectly. I like the title "coma" Out of interest have you read ...