What does he see me as?
Am I the enemy who rides upon his back?
Have I stolen his freedom and pride?
What if I am the slave master, to whip him along the track?
How does he feel of me?
Am I friend or foe?
Do I bring happiness and kindness?
Does my love for him ever show?
If I was ever to set him free
Would he run without a thought?
Would he tickle his whiskers across my cheek
And tell me to worry naught?
Does he know that I would always save him?
If it was the knackeries he was destined
I would go to him, jump on his back
Leaving nothing but dust and fear behind
But I am too late to save him now
As he lies his head on the ground
I wipe his tears and cry myself
Who knew my horse was colic bound?
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140,763 Literary Works • 673,687 Reviews
A really enjoyable read. As EvensLily said, you did an excellent job of conveying the message. There are just a couple times in the poem where I feel like the thought of a line is kind of cut short, giving a couple lines a sort of choppy feeling. In particular, "I wipe his tears and cry myself" feels like there should be more at the end there. Overall it's a very good piece that covers an interesting topic.
Hey,
Welcome to YWS!
Slight grammatical error!
his whiskers across me cheek- do you mean my cheek?
This poem was very good. I got exactly what you were talking about, the third stanza didn't do it for me as the others did but I still thought it was good. The use of Naught, I'm not that sure of either. Otherwise very good, I hope you enjoy writing with us in YWS!
Need any help or want me to review some of your other stuff just pop me a message and I'll help you as best as I can!
Love,
Evenslily
Oh, wow. This poem is so, so very sad and touching.
I love the language you used. You really managed to capture the feeling. I almost felt as though I were standing there as this happened.
This is such a perfect expression of how we wonder what our pets think of us. I especially loved the very first verse.
You have a real gift to be able to put such feeling into words.