EpicGhostyWarrior

WOW, the content was amazing! This is the type of story I feel like reading again and again. Its short but sweet. I've mainly been reading calmer, more action lacking ...

Perfect! You put me in a bad mood! Just kidding... Loved the theme. It would have been clearer and easier if you could have separated it into lines. Like this: ...

Very nice starting. Since you asked for more of a plot review, I will not go into grammatical errors. ( Your sentence structure is almost perfect.) Since this is only ...

Loved the story, but hated to see it end! You should definently continue on this... There are some errors which I won't delve into such as voicing and paragraph structure ...

Hi, excellent story! I loved how you used lots of imagery and dialogue to accurately depict what is happening in each scene. From a reader's perspective I would add more ...