Emerson

I like the ideas behind it, but it seems jumpy. Although, that fits with the ideas doesn't it? And you seem to really like italics ^_~ As always I think ...

Italicizing the first line of each stanza makes the act of italicizing less meaningful, imo. I'm feeling terribly lazy tonight, so these are all short :lol: if you want me ...

I think it needs more punctuation... Anyway, this seems like a mildly preachy poem, and preachy poems make me squeal inside and freak out. But the idea of slowing down ...

Hello there! I'm here finally :wink: Prologue She hadn't eaten for three days, the longest time yet , and she didn't think she could last any longer. That part just ...

this was very list like, and navel gazing. I couldn't feel anything. It's just young poetry about depression, the emotions don't even make sense once on paper. I think I ...

Je suis ici critiquer ton fiction! tu aimes, oui? ^_~ I don't know what anyone else said, so if I repeat, can you ever forgive me? "No comma thanks,” I ...

It had a cute rhyme to it. The repetitious didn't really help it, though it didn't hinder it either. It's a grocery list though, so I can't get anything out ...

I moved this to "other poetry" because it is in verse. So I'll also critique it like a poem. Navel gazing, boring, didn't express any emotion. Try writing about something ...

I think it was neat ^_^ I do request more punctuation though! And I could just look hazmat up in the dictionary except I am lazy and also mozilla spell ...

Ah, you're young ^^ This poem did good for expressing your feelings, but otherwise it didn't do much. Poetry is good for expressing your feelings when you are "caught up ...

A lifetime of countdowns leading to the inevitable downfall. But who’s? That seems too melodramatic. It seems childish and unrealistic of her mother to say she hates her... I don't ...

their bright flames and the pouring light of the moon fill the room with a dim light . I know it isn't that big of a deal but repetitions like ...

It flows. But what is "God-breathed"? I didn't really like it. I didn't get nice imagery, or a feeling. I couldn't relate. It wasn't about something concrete, and even then, ...

I had been so long without light of any form that I no longer died at night. There was no need, no use to protect me from the sky. This ...

Some grammar issues here and there, you could catch them on a read through I'm sure. So, why did she pass out? Did she hyperventilate? I don't know, I've never ...