Embee

Darn, I didn't get here fast enough! :x I agree with RayquazaKid; your dialogue and narration don't flow very well. Other than that, I think that Olivia is a very ...

Hey JAS13, I agree with stelagineva. You do give us too much information in the beginning. It's best to leave some of the information a mystery so that we want ...

Hello! Yes, this is extremely short, but I think it's a good start. There isn't much here though to truly help you with. It's just a little blurb. Expand more ...

Hey Kat, I thought your title was really cute. :D Im just going to jump into this, and you try to keep up, okay? Im in 7th grade, my name's ...

Hello! All the grammar mistakes seem to have been taken care of, so I won't go into that. Just nitpicking right now. :smt002 I think you would really benefit from ...

Hello, RedSun, I'm going to be your reviewer today. :smt003 First off, I really like your title; it's something I would definitely pick up at a bookstore. I walk through ...

Hello Forestqueen, I'll be reviewing this for you today. I like your avatar by the way, very cute. ;) I love LOTR. I didn't notice any major spelling or grammar ...

Hey pshhxhoney, I'll be reviewing your story today. She walked into the room, and everything seemed to pause momentarily. She was small and delicate. I was afraid if I laid ...

Hey I'm back! This was a very interesting piece and you had excellent grammar/spelling, so it was easy to get through. The one major problem I have with this is ...

Hey welcome to YWS, I'm new too. I really like your title,by the way, it's what made me want to read this in the first place. :wink: Anyway, onto your ...

Hey StuffandMoreStuff. I think this has potential, but you need to spice it up a bit; make it more exciting. Right now it's bland. Add in more descriptions of the ...

Hey cjscoot! I enjoyed reading this; it had the kind of ending that made my eyes tear up. You did an excellent job writing in the second person. The airport ...