EmJWilde

There were quite a lot of grammar errors, so I'll try to point out the ones others haven't. For example, you can't start a sentence with a number. So the ...

Your descriptions and voice is just marvelous. I love the elegant, awestruck tone it all has. The accents are so clear in my mind and it makes the characters more ...

This is a really awesome introduction! There are a lot of questions and i'm intrigued. That being said, you may want to add some commentary. The narrator kind of just ...

Good start, it sounds like a fun adventure! There are a few things you could easily change to make it even better. First of all, there are a few grammar ...