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Em16

  • Novel / Chapter » Teen Fiction, Realistic Re: A Lot Like Christmas: Chapter One

    Hey sasha_bumble_bee! I really enjoyed reading the first chapter of your novel. I love the complex relationships you have already set up, and the suspense surrounding the main character. I ...

    Sep 22, 2019
  • Novel / Chapter » Science Fiction, Fantasy Re: The Cosmic Dragon: Prologue

    I have some specific notes on your story and then some more general ones. In the first line, you say the window was “huge” twice. I would suggest only saying ...

    Sep 14, 2019
  • Novel / Chapter » Science Fiction, Action / Adventure Re: Spaceman, Introduction

    Your piece is very intriguing and deep. The beginning poses some good questions and I especially love the sentence "They say, ‘life is too short’, but they just didn’t know ...

    Aug 27, 2019
  • Poetry » Action / Adventure, Dramatic Re: Great Hall Grand Re-Opening

    First of all, I am very impressed with your rhyme scheme. You kept an AABBCC rhyme scheme for three stanzas, most of which makes sense, which is very impressive. I ...

    Aug 27, 2019
  • Short Story » Historical Fiction, Dramatic Re: The One I Loved (4)

    I really enjoyed this piece, and the slow, methodic way the story unfolded. You gave just enough detail for the reader to understand, but still have questions. However, I was ...

    Aug 26, 2019
  • Short Story » Science Fiction, Horror Re: The Digital Man

    Wow. This was really creepy, in a good way. You explained the madness of the lady with painstaking detail, and I could feel the tension throughout the whole piece. You ...

    Aug 26, 2019
  • Poetry » Realistic, Dramatic Re: Apathy-Poem

    I really like the concept you have set up in this poem, and I think you have really hit at the heart of what defines apathy. It's not a feeling, ...

    Aug 26, 2019
  • Short Story » Narrative, Other Re: I Hope this is Okay to Publish

    This is really good! I loved it. The descriptions and the details of this piece just blew me away. I loved in paragraph 4, the way you said, "spooning his ...

    Aug 26, 2019


Why does the Air Force need expensive new bombers? Have the people we've been bombing over the years been complaining?
— George Wallace