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Re: Rain and Lightening
Two minor things before I begin the review. First, make sure you run over your work with a spell-check. It looked fine for the most part, but I noticed you ...
Sep 23, 2010 -
Re: Monolouge~Edited
Hi, Wicked! Before I start, just a few notes about script formatting.Whenever you have stage directions in a chunk of dialogue, you should always go to a new line for ...
Sep 21, 2010 -
Re: Charlie
Hiya, So, this isn't bad. It definitetly kept me interested in reading, but I feel like the execution could be a lot better, especially since we've seen this sort of ...
Sep 18, 2010 -
Re: The Change
Hiya, Excuse me if this is a little rusty, as I'm not that great at reviewing poetry. Before I talk about the poem as a whole, I wanted to mention ...
Sep 16, 2010 -
Re: The Outcasts: The Plot: Prologue
Hiya, Welcome to YWS! Are you enjoying it so far? I've never been a fan of prologues for a few reasons, mostly because they are rarely necessary. If you put ...
Sep 16, 2010 -
Re: Cross Your Heart (One-shot)
Hiya, This is okay. There a lot of really strong points to this story. However, it doesn't feel as if it's as good as it could be. Although I do ...
Sep 15, 2010 -
Re: [September Contest] Floating Metal Coffin
Hiya, I really, really like this story. It's captivating and although we know there is no hope for the characters, I'm still hooked. I want to continue and see what ...
Sep 14, 2010 -
Re: The Lifetime of a Raindrop
Hiya, Short review today. This was a really nice story. I loved the mood, setting and characterization, and your word choice. I was hooked from beginning to end, and although ...
Sep 12, 2010 -
Re: Brothers
Hiya, I see you're new to the site. Welcome! Are you enjoying it so far? In regards to the story, you have a good premise but the execution is somewhat ...
Sep 12, 2010 -
Re: Bodies
Hiya, So this was an interesting piece that's unlike everything I've ever read before. You have a neat style and way with words, and you really build up the setting ...
Sep 11, 2010 -
Re: Deleted
Hiya, So, I like this. It's well written and you've developed some good characterization. But I don't really know how to describe this story in terms of the way it ...
Sep 11, 2010 -
Re: Twin Spirits - Introduction
Hiya, So, this is alright. The premise is promising but needs work, and the general execution of this is not by far as good as I feel like it could ...
Sep 11, 2010 -
Re: Bear Lake
Hiya, This story was alright. I thought it was magnificent how you built up the atmosphere in the first half of the story and really made us feel the setting--that ...
Sep 8, 2010 -
Re: Read Once Immediately Preceding Sleep
Hiya, So, this is definitely unlike anything that I have ever read. I know I'll have to re-read this eventually, because there were some parts that didn't really make any ...
Sep 5, 2010 -
Re: Frozen Love, Heated Pain
Hiya, So, I think you have a lot of good in this story. I really like the structure and style and what you want to do with the characters. When ...
Aug 26, 2010
