Wow, I finally decided I would write something and I decided to put this up with much regret. I'm really new at YWS, so I may take criticism hard at first, but I hope I will get used to it, really soon. :] This is part of novel I'm writing, which has been in the process since July. I am terrible at prologues, so this is my very first draft. It is told in the main characters POV. I'll explain more if I ever post up a first chapter :] Please criticize as much and as harsh as you want. Peace. 
P.S.- I just had a complete blankout, and I forgot to introduce myself. I'm Lise :]
--Lise
Prologue:
.... My family knows a secret that can change your life. It is a secret so well hidden, that the only people that know about it are government officials, until now. The government plan to take the lives of your friends and family to renew the world. They don’t care about you or your family’s life; they just care about themselves. They will survive this catastrophe, sitting in their comfy chairs sipping cocoa by the fire, while we are running trying to save ourselves. Now, I don’t know about you, but I would stand up to this injustice rather than dying. Agreed? The question is: How can we save the world from our leaders?
.... It may be difficult, but it is not impossible. The world has survived crisis, like massive hurricanes, wars, and economic difficulties and yet, here we sit. Maybe we can endure a massive killing spree. My family and I will help, but we can’t do it by ourselves. We need your help. Yes you.
.... Do you remember when you wanted less homework in your grade school math class, so you gather an army of 4th graders and walk up to the principal’s office? Did you feel in power, and believe that you were going to fix the problem? And then, the door opens, and you watch as the 6”3 principal walks out, towering over you. Emotions flood through you, mostly involving fear and panic. What will he do? What will he say? Suddenly, you regain your composure and ask him. I bet he chuckled at how serious you are. The feeling makes your stomach flop to the floor, and tears form in your eyes. You feel hopeless, like you can’t do anything right. That is how my predicament is at this very moment; I can’t just saunter over to the White House and demand them to stop this wrongdoing. I need more than just my family by my side. That’s why you need to speak now.
.... Tell everyone you know, from your mom to your cousins to the bully that takes your lunch money. Tell them about this crime against the human race and order them to act now and help us. Everyone has a right to live, even the worst of criminals, or immortals like me.
.... Don’t scream, and let me explain. My family and I are a small coven of witches trying to live normally in a small town. Sadly, we don’t exactly fit in well. It doesn’t help that my brother, half-sister, and I are home schooled and we look like we were dunked in a scientific goo that turned all of us into supermodels. I’m not vain; at least I hope I’m not, but I’m serious. I have green eyes and light brown hair with green highlights. The highlights are natural, although I don’t know what kind of sun can turn your hair green. My brother and half-sister are just as worse. They both inherited the unique highlights, both of theirs being blue, matching their irises as well. We stand out in the crowd, and we are put in the spotlight. Luckily, my mom spotted this, and we never went to regular school. I don’t mind; I’d rather be with my family anyways. But, now the impossible is happening: We are going to school.
.... Is this the end of the world for my family and I? Or can we save the world and our lives?
-Verena
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Hey there Lise,
But now I really think things through. If what you want is a strong pull, you find a way to do it in the first lines of your first chapter.
You have a good plot idea going on. I love stories of witches' and I can't wait to find out how this will pan out. How you'll flesh it out. How come her and her family are the only one's to know the gov secret.
I'm Tanya, here for a review. Well, I partly agree with what Elinor said. This prologue doesn't add much to your story that we can't find out later on. As an example, it really isn't necessary to know right now how beautiful they all are. What does it add to your story? Ask yourself. I was always a big fan of prologues before I came here. MY prologues, that is
All that being said, I'm incredibly intrigued. I don't understand why this isn't in fantasy instead of action, but that's another matter
Also, I loved the emotions you portrayed while describing the walk to the principal's office. We've all been through that before. Nicely done.
Would you PM when you post your next chapter?
Hope this was helpful,
Tanya
Hiya,
Welcome to YWS! Are you enjoying it so far?
I've never been a fan of prologues for a few reasons, mostly because they are rarely necessary. If you put this into proper format, it almost feels like it could be a book trailer. It doesn't add anything to the plot but rather seems more like a forced attempt to hook us into the story.
Part of what makes a story fresh and interesting to read is that we do not know what will happen next. Especially in fantasy stories such as these, it's a lot more exciting if everything is introduced to us in a more natural way. Right now you're telling us what these witches are like instead of showing us is what I'm saying. If you take the first couple of chapters and show us what their life is like, show us their abnormalities, we'll get what you're saying without you ever having to utter the word "witches".
Also, the idea just seems a little bit strange. What would the government's motivation be? If they don't have any people to govern, they'll loose their power. I know this is only the prologue, so I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and say this will be expanded on later in the story. If that is the case, I would introduce it later in the story. Have the character present evidence or let us see how and why this happening. Make it seem more natural.
And those five words are really my advice to you.
PM me if you have questions--I'd really like to see more.
-Elinor x