Elfsongs

Very cool poem. As someone who has struggled with my own body image for quite a while, I really could connect to this poem and I think that is awesome. ...

This actually made me laugh. I really enjoyed reading this! I'm usually not one for poetry, and I often find it confusing, but this was cute and humorous and I ...

ooohhhhhhh suspense! I like this, even though it's sort of sad. The only think I didn't really like is that the whole thing seemed a little sudden. I think maybe ...

This is much better than the first chapter :) Nice improvement! I really like how you added all of the description of the apartment and of James! He sounds handsome! ...

The paragraph that begins with "...However, that was one idea. The other, much less prominent, also started battering at his damned head..." doesn't flow nicely. The first sentence in particular ...

the story started out well. I liked the character descriptions, and I really felt for the main character. Your descriptions and use of feeling really made me connect with him ...

"...asked Trent was one of his best friends in sixth grade." I'm sure this is just a typo, but this sentence makes no sense at all. It looks like you ...

"Citizens would be enjoying a break from the usually busy week and taking their well earned coin to the taverns and drinking them away merrily but not on this stormy ...

Hello! Your story seems to have a neat premise, and sounds like it's going to be an interesting adventure, but I found that it read more like a list than ...