ElementalBlood

Ah, just what I needed. An interesting idea as a break from editing. ^_^ You've gotten me curious as to why this is under the fantasy genre, considering it starts ...

Gah O_O I did the same thing when I first started posting, leave a full space between every new paragraph. It's cramped and difficult to read otherwise. Too much speech ...

I was laughing by the end of it. XD Though it was a little...iffy? You were over-describing everything. Description is good, so we know what things look like, where they ...

The march was unlike anything Bártak had ever experienced in his life. It would take three long days to reach the gates of the great city of Dragonhead, and the ...

Most of what I would have picked on you for has already been pointed out. The sudden rebellion, not likely. It would be best if you started with Coren showing ...

I would say that this is an "OK" start. Your descriptions of Jerime's sister Selena were amusing but it wasn't much of an attention-grabber. It seemed exceptionally mundane and ordinary, ...

I thought I'd read along a bit to figure out what was going on before I commented. Especially because of chapter 2. It was really confusing until now. I guess ...

First post again! I'm never this lucky. Though I originally bugged you about being repetitive, repeating "gone" at the end of those two paragraphs after the Minos were captured worked ...

Whoa o.O Good premise but your delivery should be better. Editing is needed! You repeat yourself a lot without any apparent reason. When I finished reading, all I could think ...

The question remains...who is "Lizzie?" Is that Keaira's mother? Or a nickname for Keaira herself? Or did you have a brain fart like all people? :3 I'm actually pretty interested ...

I definitely love the idea for this. Now, I'm not very picky about grammar so I won't delve to deeply into that. I really only have a comment about repetitive ...

This is all my friends have talked about all day so I had to check this out. You've gotten a new fan! But really, if you're just doing this for ...

Oh my god. I love this! The grammar, punctuation, capitalization and all of that need work but you've got such a good idea going that it will be read and ...

I have to say that Kara's right. It's way too short to really be a separate post and the action is jerky and seems unimportant even though something that should ...

I loved the opening. Very attention-grabbing. Since all the issues I noticed have already been covered in other reviews I can't say much else. The only thing I can't hammer ...